This weekend, I get to see what 2 years of the grind looks like. I get to see what numerous derby games, countless bootcamps, and much sacrifice gets me. I get to go to my hometown and I get to leave it all on the track..
Derby ate my life, my soul and my relationship… and I don’t look back in regret.
Sure, I probably should’ve focused on my nutrition, did more power lifting.. maybe transferred to a better team.. but I’ve prepared the best way I can with what I have.
I’ve gotten up at 5 am to go to boot camps in the morning to make sure I have fresh legs for practice, I’ve also gone to practice directly after boot camps to see what it’s like to have tired legs and to train hard. I’ve driven out of town to get more time on my skates with different skaters, I’ve skated on my lunch breaks to get even more time on skates – I skate pick up with ANY team who wants me, did my share of tournaments, shed tears, had my share of frustration and pain.. I feel so much more prepared this time.
2 years of my life was spent looking forward to this weekend.
I know in my heart that I am double the skater I was last time I did this. I need to believe in myself that I am a good skater and that I can show them how hard I can work on both sides of the line. I will take the kind words and support and the butt kickings I’ve had over the years with every league and skater I’ve skated with with me, every little part of their lives have contributed to this journey and I appreciate every single one of them.
I feel like I can leave it all out there for the coaches, I’ve lost so much on this journey that I have nothing to lose on Sunday – and I will skate my heart out.
I see you tryouts, and I hope that you see me.
… until then..
All my bags are packed, I’m ready to go.. and a short bus ride later, I’ll be in Chilliwack, BC for my first Team Canada try out. It’s taken me over a year to get to this point. I’ve trained hard and pushed myself so far outside my comfort zone that I no longer know exactly what it is.
I’ve been up at 5 am, away from home several nights a week, I’ve become stronger than I’ve ever been before, and this weekend will be a jumping off point for even more greatness. I’ll admit, it’s going to be a long shot, I know that there are far more skilled skaters than myself out there, but I’m going to leave it all on the track and skate away with a big FUCKING grin on my face because I can say it. I can FINALLY say it.
“I tried out for Team Canada.”
… and I did it on skates.
I want to set a benchmark for myself to meet and exceed, I want to come back year after year and get better and better…. and this try out hasn’t even started.
Hey! 16 year old self, remember when all you wanted to do in your life was become a speed skater? Remember when nobody would help stand by you? Remember those dreams that you had?
Well, kid… this weekend, these dreams come true. It may not be the olympics, but it’s damn close and you’re going to leave it all out there for the coaches to see, I want you to make those coaches want to watch you. You’re going to go there and be a sponge, you’re going to learn everything you can, because this is the dream, and you’re going to live it, and you’re going to have the BIGGEST fucking smile on your face!